What’s so strange is that I still sometimes forget that she’s gone. I still find myself thinking about calling her or think about what her reaction will be when I tell her a story later on.

After the initial raw pain of losing my mom subsided, I thought that I would be done with the worst pain. It wasn’t until she was gone for a year and a half that I found myself really missing her. And the pain came flooding back.

It’s normal to not see your mom for a few months—did that when I was in college. Or, let’s pretend that I had a big argument with her and for some reason we didn’t speak for a year, maybe a little more.

But, when the year and a half mark hit, that’s when I really really missed her. That’s when I hit the point where I would have made a special trip home to see her, had we lived in different parts of the world. That’s when I would have called to patch up our rift, had we been in an argument. That was my breaking point. That was the amount of time that was too long for me not to see my mom.

That was the time when I started to conceive this website. When I had so many things to tell her. When I needed her to be there to listen.


1 comment:

Lou said...

At least once a week I will have the urge to call Dad, and then I come to the realization that I can't. I have had many good days since his death, but at the days end I realize my father is dead and the happy occurrences & new memories can't be shared with him.

I feel the hardest year of all will be my fathers 17th death anniversary, because that is when he will be dead longer than I knew him. I still can't comprehend that when I think about it.