Baby No Name

List of Potential Baby Names





And there we are. 


Through My Eyes

It's not that I don't think of my mom anymore.  I do.  I think of her daily, as I always have.

And it's not that I don't feel the need to speak with her anymore, or write down the stories that I want her to know.

It's that I choose to feel that she's with me.  Not staring at me or watching me from above, just a part of me.  She's gone; she's not coming back; and I've known all along that "talking" to her through this blog was just a gimmick.  I just pretend that she's part of me and sees things the way I do.  Through my eyes.


Fresh Mouth

Apparently it's normal for 4 years old to have a fresh mouth.  However, I feel that Leah's is super fresh. 

Supa fresh.

I spoke to her teacher today about it and she told me that it's important for Leah to understand that failure to listen to mom and dad and/or fresh mouth will result in losing fun stuff. 

For Leah, the absolute worst thing you can do to her is not allow her play outside with her friends.  OH MY GOD THE HORROR OF HAVING TO STAY INSIDE WHILE ALL THE FUN IS GOING ON OUTSIDE WITHOUT HER!

This week has been particularly trying for us and each night has brought a special kind of hell that has made us re-think the decision to add to this family, despite it being way too late.

Tonight Greg is working late so it's going to be just me and Leah from 3:30 p.m. on.  I am hoping that the rain stays away so we get some outside play after school.

And other than that, I am hoping that my 4 year old doesn't reduce me to tears with the fresh mouth.


My Cup(s) Runneth Over

I have recently embarked on a mission to find a maternity swim suit.  I am during non-pregnancy times what one would consider "well endowed", so you can imagine what the girls look like as they prepare to enter the third trimester.

Seeing as though my only saving grace this summer is the zero gravity feeling a pool provides, my plan is to spend as much time in one as possible.  At first I was thinking of just heading to my nearest fabric store and purchasing enough spandex to cover my car and then just wrapping it around myself. 

Since then, I've decided that perhaps purchasing an actual maternity bathing suit is the way to go.

I have only a few requirements. 

First and foremost is that all naughty bits must be adequately covered.  In addition to the obvious, you can add belly to this category.  (Which, as a 35 year old woman, is quite obvious to me, but apparently there are a lot of pregnant women who don't share this thought.)

I would like some sort of structure...I want the body parts that belong towards the north part of my body to remain north and not sag so low they look like they are resting on my stomach.

I would also prefer the bottom of the suit to include some sort of skirt or shorts.


No horizontal stripes.  The fact that I have to include this pisses me off to no end.  I don't wear horizontal stripes in my non-pregnant, thinnest days, so why in the land of all that is good and holy do maternity manufacturers produce clothing with horizontal stripes?  It's like their mocking us.

That's it.  I'll keep you posted.



I'm not sure how I feel about being home.  I am happy that I don't have to get up at the crack every morning and leave my house sometimes before my daughter even wakes up, but it's taking me some time to be okay with that.  Believe me, not working is way better than working.  But for someone who's worked consistently for 14 years, save for 10 weeks around Leah's birth, it's strange that I'm not working.

1-I feel lazy.  I guess because I am such a big proponent for working.  I see people complaining about not having money or not feeling important, and I'm like, Duh, then get a job.  Problem solved. I don't know why I judge value by whether one works or not, but for some reason I feel like I'm lazy or less of a person right now because I'm not working.  And not actively looking for work.  And have pretty much made up my mind that I won't be working again until November.

2-I have no idea what I'm supposed to be doing.  Clearly I shouldn't have free time, right?  I should pack my days with laundry, dusting, and vacuuming, and then I should pack my afternoons with bike rides, park visits, and playdates, and I should know what I'm making for dinner at 9 a.m. so that the meat can defrost, and I should always be in a good mood because hey, the stress of working is now gone, and, well, is this right?  Am I on the right track here?  Because if so, then staying home is sorta just as stressful as not staying home.  Clearly, I've missed something...huh?

3-I am very concerned about us paying our bills for the next five months.  We've never lived without my salary, and I'm pretty much putting our near future in Greg's hands and I am an enormous control freak.  So, this is very hard.  When I am bringing home the money, I know how much is coming in and when and where it's going to go.  And now there's significantly less than that, and I am nervous.

4-If there is not enough money to pay the bills, we are pretty much SOL since there's a very good chance that I couldn't even get a job if I wanted one since I'm 6.5 months pregnant.  So, there's that.

Ok, so other than that, I think I like being home.  I already feel a lot more laid back and I can already see a difference in my relationship with Leah.  I am looking forward to the summer and the time we'll be together. 

And I'm feeling a lot more grateful towards Greg.  I know not every woman has this opportunity, and I would like to really take advantage of it. 

So, for now, I'm using May to get the baby's room ready, declutter my house, and clean every nook and cranny, since Leah's still in school full time. 

And as for the rest of the summer?  Who knows...


Is Jesus a Bad Word?

We are very much into bad words these days.  As far as Greg and I can tell, the only bad word she is currently sure of is stupid,which she refers to as the "PS Word."  We have no clue why. We have thought about it over and over and over, and...we've got nothing.  PS Word?  What the hell?

But, she loves asking me if words are bad.  Just this morning she asked me if totally and buttitude are bad words.  The second one baffles me as much as it baffles you, but she claimed that Martha from "Martha Speaks" says buttitude.  I told her that both of those words were in fact not bad and then made a mental note to pay more attention to "Martha Speaks."

My favorite memory on the subject of bad words goes back a couple of years when she asked me if Jesus is a bad word.  We are not a religious household and I was taken back by the question, but I answered honestly, figuring she had heard of a guy named Jesus and thought, hey, I wonder if that's okay to say.  So, I told her, "No, Jesus is not a bad word."

A few minutes later, Ruby walked by and rubbed up against Leah, and I heard,

"JESUS Ruby!  Don't do that!"

And I thought, Oh, that's what she meant.  Ah, well, oops.

Parenting is obviously not my day job.


A Little Rusty

I'm a week into my new gig of non-working, pregnant mother and I still feel like I need to make sure my day is filled with a list of tasks to complete before I pick up Leah at 3:30.

I'm also having a hard time figuring out what is my job (role, responsibility, whatever) as a SAHM and what, as a pregnant woman, I am justified to ask Greg do...ok, demand Greg do...ok, be disappointed and sigh dramatically when Greg doesn't do it automatically.

Also, if Greg works from home, do I still need to cook dinner if he totally has the time to do it?  If he has a slow day and doesn't have much to do am I still obligated to wash all dishes?  Yes, he's technically the bread winner and I'm technically the homemaker, but does that mean he doesn't touch any task related to homemaking anymore?  Does it really mean that I work from sun up to sun down at my new job while his is over at the end of the workday?

Am I overthinking this?

In other news, yes, I've been gone and this blog has been neglected.  I'm not certain if I'm back for good so forgive me if I don't pretty it up immediately.