I have recently embarked on a mission to find a maternity swim suit. I am during non-pregnancy times what one would consider "well endowed", so you can imagine what the girls look like as they prepare to enter the third trimester.
Seeing as though my only saving grace this summer is the zero gravity feeling a pool provides, my plan is to spend as much time in one as possible. At first I was thinking of just heading to my nearest fabric store and purchasing enough spandex to cover my car and then just wrapping it around myself.
Since then, I've decided that perhaps purchasing an actual maternity bathing suit is the way to go.
I have only a few requirements.
First and foremost is that all naughty bits must be adequately covered. In addition to the obvious, you can add belly to this category. (Which, as a 35 year old woman, is quite obvious to me, but apparently there are a lot of pregnant women who don't share this thought.)
I would like some sort of structure...I want the body parts that belong towards the north part of my body to remain north and not sag so low they look like they are resting on my stomach.
I would also prefer the bottom of the suit to include some sort of skirt or shorts.
BLACK. BLACK. BLACK. BLACK. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE IT BLACK.
No horizontal stripes. The fact that I have to include this pisses me off to no end. I don't wear horizontal stripes in my non-pregnant, thinnest days, so why in the land of all that is good and holy do maternity manufacturers produce clothing with horizontal stripes? It's like their mocking us.
That's it. I'll keep you posted.
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