Please listen to me, you need to listen to me.
No whining, no throwing, no crying,
I'm tired and I have a migraine,
and you need to listen the hell to me.

When I ask you to clean up your room,
or to come and set the table.
All I want you to do, is to eventually stop what you're doing,
and just listen the hell to me.

Your father and I have a feeling,
you might be an alien.
You scream for no reason and freak out all the time.
Oh, and you never listen the hell to me.

I like that you make your bed,
and it's great that you can dress yourself.
Now stop hitting the dog with your shoe,
and just listen the hell to me.



Hair Come The Tears

She had to put every clip in her hair.  Wouldn't let me touch one, help out, or make any suggestions.

And then, like a mini Paris Hilton, threw a huge fit when I told her it looked nice.

And forget when I told her that she should wear it out.  FOR. GET. IT.

It's times like these that make me very scared for the future. 

Jeez, I didn't do anything wrong!  Unless you count complimenting you!  For the love of god, lighten up!



Going To The Mazoom

Today was Leah's last day of school and parents were invited to attend an end of year party.  Greg and I both took the day off.  The plan was to head into NY after school and have lunch, walk through Central Park, and maybe end up at the Museum of Natural History.

And then a monsoon hit NJ.

So, we headed to the Children's Museum in Paramus.  Not as cool as the AMNH, but fun nonetheless.



I think of my mom every day and probably will forever. Sometimes it stings and sometimes it doesn’t. I know that they say that if something doesn’t hurt then it no longer means something to you, but I don’t care. I’d rather be able to think of my mom and not have it hurt. I’d rather it just be a thought in my head, along the lines of “buy pull ups” and “dvr Glee.”

Marco, Adriana, and I took my dad out for brunch on Sunday. Afterwards everyone came over to my house to swim. Marco threw everyone in the pool. The family raft was a big hit. Bella fell asleep in the stroller. I made pastina and then ordered pizza. We sat in the shade. Greg kept changing the station. Leah screamed “god bless America” like a mad patriot.

And I didn’t really think of my mom. And it was such a good day.

Yesterday was a good friend’s birthday. Happy Birthday, Gabrielle. Sorry you missed out on your birthday party.




Leah's been in school full time for several weeks now, and, although I am totally jinxing it by discussing it here, her transition has been seamless and this has been a huge weight off my shoulders.

We were all very surprised when Greg decided that he wanted a new career and then was offered a job after his first interview.  (If you remember, some of us had to interview 13 times in an industry we've been in for 7 years before being offered a new job.)  Because of that, we were forced to put her in full time school mid-year, or rather, at the end of the school year in May.  The school we selected offered open enrollment which allowed us to sign her up on a Friday for her to begin school the following Monday. 

I was told several times by the head mistress that while she might enjoy school in the beginning, the fad would fade and she would eventually give us problems when it came time to drop her off.

I also lost a few nights' worth of sleep thinking about how all of the kids were going to know the routines, the songs, their letters, numbers, days of the week in Japanese, whatever, and she would be lost and embarrassed.  Just thinking about it brought a tear to my eye. 

You know where this is going, right?  Nothing.  Nada.  No issues, no problems, no hesitations, nothing.  She sings the songs, announces the date, pledges the allegiance, and knows that butterflies come from caterpillars.  She's just so damn awesome.


A Good Weekend

Despite not food shopping and having nothing more than three pickles and some barbecue sauce in my house, and despite not doing even one of the eighty loads of laundry awaiting me in the basement, we had a really good weekend.

I had some much needed girl time and got a lot off my chest.  And I got to spend an entire Sunday with only my husband and my daughter and not one single solitary committment other than being together.  We haven't had a Sunday with only each other in a very long time, and I really enjoyed it. 

Despite the raging hangover after drinking 24 points of wine (!!), I had a really good weekend.



Pledge Of Allegiance


No Reason

Things are good. So good. Yet I am still not right.

There are milestones and careers and success stories and new schools.

There are open windows and open doors.

There are anticipations, excitements, and things to look forward to. But I have started reaching for the phone to call her again.

I began running again. Running makes me think of my mom. Dieting, eating well, being healthy, being unhealthy, seeing grandmas, reading about people dying in their 50s, pregnant women, shopping, cleaning, lipstick, the vacuum, and the Gin Blossoms. Everything. It’s disgusting, really.

My anxiety is out of control. I can’t stop thinking about how Leah is probably dying every time I’m not with her.

Songs that have nothing to do with moms that have died make me think of my mom that died. I mean, songs that are clearly about other things I think were written with me in mind.

Never mind, I’ll find someone like you
I wish nothing but the best for you too
Don’t forget me I beg, I remember you said,
Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead.


It’s just a minor setback, and I’m sure I’ll come out of it, but it takes a lot out of me and it wears me down.

God, I hope I lose weight tonight at Weight Watchers.*

*My priorities are warped.



Le Weekend

Hmm, where shall I start?

Gymnasties on Saturday morning.

Followed by marshmallow roasting at night.  (Oh, it was just soo much fun not eating these since I had completed my daily points intake for my stupid diet.  Er, I mean lifestyle change.)

A little cuddle between Mommy and Baby...

Followed by Matthew's birthday party on Sunday.

Mmmm, cake.

And we rounded out the weekend checking out the swing set at Adriana's new condo complex. 

Two feet up!



I have a whole entry written about our weekend, but Blogger won't allow me to upload pictures.  Because my words are preschoolish without accompanying pictures, there's no reason to post it until I can get the pictures up.  So, to be continued...


Dream On

Yesterday Leah told me that Pop Pop John took her to gymnastics with Ana.  Then, after that, they went to Dunkin Donuts.  And then, she woke up! 

That's what she said. 

I think that she recounted her first dream.