Time. Not On My Side.

I have a serious question for everyone out there.  Like, I need you to comment and give me insight.  This is not a rhetorical question; I am really asking for help.

Where the heck do you find the time to do everything?!

I feel like I am always behind; always fighting the clock to get everything done; always failing at something.  I wake up at a decent time.  I don't take too long to get ready in the morning.  My commute is long, but I make a lot of phone calls and try to get things done while I'm on it.  I usually don't take a lunch, but if I do, I run an errand.  I've perfected my ride home to only take me in high traffic areas for about 5 miles.  I am a multi-tasker to the max; I'm a project manager for christ's sake!  I know how to plan!  I am pretty good at time management.  But, at the end of the day, there are usually about 4 things that I had planned to do that I didn't get done.  And that's a good day.

And, it's killing me!  Especially when it's something that I was looking forward to--like a walk.  Or, some time outside with Leah.  Or, just some time with Leah period.  Where she's not kicking me, of course.  Those times are not looked forward to.  Obvs.

Spending time with this person is important to me.

I have friends on Facebook who will list what they've accomplished each day, and it's a list of like 30 items!  And I'm like--seriously?  You did all that?  Because, today?  I emptied the dishwasher.  That's it.  Emptied the dishwasher and lived.  And that's a good day.

Clearly, I'm missing something.

I look around me and see women who seem to have it all figured out.  Who will let me know at 9 a.m. what they are having for dinner and that they plan on taking their kids for a walk afterwards!  And, me?  I'm not even sure I'm going to be serving dinner in my house, because that is so long from now and anything can happen!

Play with me!

My house is never as clean as I want it.  Either is my kid.  The laundry pile is taller than me.  My hair is always a month overdue for a cut.  Don't get me started on the color.  What are Leah's two year old pictures that people keep asking me about?  Because we don't have them, and, at this rate, there won't be three year old ones, either.  The list of to-do's is out of control.  My dining room has not had a chandelier for four years, and every Saturday I say, "Today is the day I will buy a chandelier" and if I had a dollar for every time I've said that, I could buy you all a chandelier.  And dining rooms.

And it's not like I can't do it.

I plan my crew at work's schedule down to the last minute at times.  I try to foresee all problems and avoid issues at any cost.  But, with my own life?  Not so much.

So, I need some advice.  I need to hear how you do it.  How are your homes so clean, and your errands all done, and your bills paid on time and your refridgerators filled with food?  You always look so great, and your eyebrows are never in need of a wax.  You're not wearing a bra from college because nothing else was clean, and you appear to have had time to put on some lip gloss.  And, look at that!  Your dining room has a chandelier!

How did you do all that?

Look at all of my friends' moms playing with them.
I guess I'll just hold this here bubble bucket and look sad.


Anonymous said...

Dana, first let me start by saying “YOU ARE DOING A GREAT JOB!”. I look at you and think “How does she do all that? I’m exhausted!” I can honestly tell you that my house is always a mess, not matter how hard I try to get a handle on it, I never know what we are having for dinner, never get to most of the things I plan to accomplish in a day and I have finally come to the realization that as much as it drives me crazy on a daily basis that I just can’t keep up with everything, the most important part of my days are spending them with my little girls and just having fun with them. So what if the house is a mess….they don’t care, they would care if I spent the whole day cleaning and not playing with them. They care if I’m in the kitchen cooking for an hour instead of outside playing with them, they care that Mommy has to go to work and is not always there to play. So….things will get done EVENTUALLY. Stop beating yourself up over what you didn’t get to….and be proud of all that you accomplish. I think you do more in one day than a lot of people….you are just being hard on yourself. Try to stop each day and find time to enjoy life and have fun with baby Leah while she’s still young. Before you know it our girls will be having “play dates” but they will be saying “oh great…our moms want to hang out with us too!” LOL

Jo said...


I don't have a kid, just a needy cat. And, a husband that's out of town at least half the time. And, I currently have NO JOB. But that doesn't mean that I ever get everything done in a day that I'd like to.

The fact is, no woman can be super woman. Anyone that claims that she can raise a perfect kid, work a high-powered job, keep house like Martha Stewart and still have time for every fun excursion or me pampering time is lying. You simply can't do everything, especially if you aim to be perfect at everything. You either have to a) get more help, or b) learn to be OK with yourself when you don't get to all the things on your list.

So, what's most important to you? What can you not live without? I assume that keeping your kid alive and paying your bills so you can keep a roof over her head is probably at the top. Everything else is just icing on the cake.

Don't beat yourself up if all your laundry isn't done or if you're having the same thing for dinner three days in a row. Shit happens. It's life; that's the way it works. And never -- EVER -- compare yourself to others.

So, hug your kid and pour yourself a cocktail. You deserve it.


april said...

No husband or kids here, and still hard to keep everything straight. It might look like everyone else has got it together, but they are probably thinking the same thing you are- how is SHE doing all that and I can't???