Dear Mom...

Leah turned two last week, and we had a small family party for her over the weekend.  You were definately missed, but I have to admit it's getting easier to handle parties and holidays.  Soon after you died, get-togethers were difficult.  We found ourselves just standing there staring at each other physically missing the void you left. 

When it would come time to clear the table, we'd still wait for your direction on who should do what.  When it came time to make the coffee, we'd forget that you were no longer there and someone had to pick up the slack. 

And pick up the slack is what we've done.

Daddy is now the only parent we have, and he must do the job of mom and dad.  He is the only grandparent of Leah's that lives in NJ, so he must fill those shoes, too.

Adriana and I now take care of making sure the table is set, the food is served, the dishes are washed, and the coffee is served.  Gone are the days of being waited on; we now automatically make sure it happens.

And Marco?  You'll be happy to know that he is still the impatient, lazy PITA that he was when you were here.  How proud you must be!

So, I hope this doesn't upset you, Ma, but we are doing a lot better when we are all together.  It's no longer a pity party, where we all feel bad for ourselves and are reminded at every turn that you are no longer here. 

We've picked up the pieces, and, although we drop a few occasionally, we are managing.  And we are doing well.  Very well. 


So, there, internet.  That is my news.  You can re-direct your "Congratulations on the new baby" cards from me to Marco.  Unless the card states, "Congratulations on the new baby, AUNT DANA."

Mom and Dad-2007.

Haha, totally kidding. It was the 70's, as if you couldn't tell.

1 comment:

Louis Amendola said...


For about the first three years after my fathers passing, family parties were "awkward," as you said there was a lot of standing around doing nothing. Even though my father did basically nothing to contribute to prep and clean up, he was the life of the party (he never shut the hell up).

During those first three years there was always a spot left for him at the table, and we would act as if he were just away for a temporary amount of time. As time went on my family, as like yours has adapted to the void. There is no longer that extra spot left at the table and the awkwardness at family gatherings has diminished. Part of me does not wish for happiness and enjoyment at parties, while the other part of me knows we have to somewhat let go and try to enjoy our lives.

And as I see your included "news" I wish you congratulations on becoming an Aunt, and hope having another baby in the family helps your family along with your everlasting struggles.

Lou Amendola