At The End Of The Day

By Friday night, I am usually knock-down, flat-out exhausted.  My husband is working nights right now so I parent solo on that night, plus I'm usually beat from a full work week.  I'm looking forward to spending the next two days with Leah, but sometimes? On Friday night?  I am just watching the clock anxiously awaiting bedtime.

This particular Friday was no exception.  I was sick this week, and the weather was crummy, so both Leah and I had been cooped up inside the house all day.  By the time 5 p.m. rolled around, I found my eyes searching for a nearby clock every few minutes.

5 p.m....hmm, we still have a couple of hours.  What can we do? Oh, let's color! And read! And build with blocks!

5:15...that's it? I thought that at least an hour had passed.  Ok, let's find something else to make it go faster.  Ok, let's play dolls!  And cook in your kitchen!  And pretend to make mommy a martini.

6!  Ok, one more hour, one more hour, one more hour.

6:02.  Are you kidding me?!  Two lousy minutes?  That's it? This night will never end wahhhhhh....

We got through the next hour, with the help of 1) ice cream, 2) a potty placed in the middle of the kitchen (don't ask) and 3) Skype.  And then, at 7 p.m. when she was sleeping soundly in her crib, I sat down on the couch with a cup of tea and...proceeded to miss Leah!  What the heck?!  How could I miss her when I had just spent the last two hours praying for bedtime?

I'm not sure, but I think it has to do with a mix of being a parent and being insane.

I grabbed my laptop and started going through some old pictures of Leah.  Although she's only two, these pictures seem like they were taken a liftetime ago. 

Everyday is a trying, struggling, tiring experience being her mom, but it's also a learning, uplifting, and exciting one too.  If losing my mom is the worst thing that ever happened to me, then having Leah is the best.  Hands down.