Dear Horizon-
A $70 per month increase on my toddler's health insurance? Really? Does this sound like a normal annual increase amount? TWENTY PERCENT? Are you sure? Our waste removal fee went up $5 one year and every senior citizen in Sparta picketed for months outside the post office. Can you imagine if the increase was $70? I now need a Xanax every time I open the bill. MY health insurance is going to go up because of your greedy little ways. I hope you're happy.
Dear Salerno-Duane Auto Plaza of Newton-
I swear to Hay-Zeus, thinking of you makes my blood boil. I bought a car from you. I took it home on the same day I visited just to test drive. I played your negotiation games. I agreed to your payment terms. But when I brought my car in to have leather installed on the seats at 10 a.m. and returned at 8 p.m. to find 1) leather, 2) an empty tank, and 3) 300 miles on the odometer that weren't there that morning, I expected at the very least a SORRY. Or a HOW CAN I MAKE THAT UP TO YOU? But what I got was insulting, rude, wrong, and full of BS. I will be coming to get my license plates soon. If your attitude hasn't changed by then, I'll be bringing my two year old. Don't know what that means? Call the guys over at the Audi dealership and ask them how fun it was when we brought Leah to that visit. Hope you like your showroom cars "jellied."
Dear JCP&L-
WHY DOES IT COST SO MUCH TO PUT LIGHTS ON??!!! My god, what the hell, is electricity made of gold????? Due to your exorbitant rates, I now scream at Greg for leaving things plugged in! I yell when he leaves the TV on to go to the bathroom! I wait by Leah's door for her to fall asleep so I can turn off the focacca light she mandates be left on in order to fall asleep at night. I am a stingy, electric-saving scrooge! You are turning me into my father!
Dear Wachovia-
I am happy that you got bought out by Wells Fargo. I am NOT sad to see you go, I WILL help you pack, and I hope the door doesn't hit you on the way out. It's been several years of horrible service, mistakes on your part that you blamed me for, and a really stupid name. Good riddance!
**It was bill-paying night. In case you couldn't tell. Have a good one!
.
Showing posts with label love letters. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love letters. Show all posts
1/24/11
1/18/11
Dear Mom...
It's been a long time since I wrote you a letter. It's not because I've forgotten about you. Believe me, I still think about you all the time.
We are chugging along in life, replacing hot water heaters, buying new cars, watching Angelina Ballerina, making an occasional BM in the toilet (you'll appreciate the use of "BM"), shoveling snow on a weekly basis, spending an exorbitant amount of money at Kohls, using Bed, Bath, and Beyond coupons (we must--Linens and Things went out of business after you died--two events that I'm sure are related), getting extended bedtimes, vacuuming on a near-daily basis, getting a new stove, non-stop food shopping, making new friends, drinking lots of wine, creating new recipes, seeing shows, facebooking (you wouldn't get it), "working on the 'puter", paying bills, complaining about bills, making new bills, celebrating birthdays, yelling at Ruby for eating diapers out of the garbage, trying to keep Penny from scratching every piece of new furniture we bring into this house and anything and everything else involved with life.
But, please don't let the above paragraph make you think that I don't wish we could do every one of those things with you.
We are chugging along in life, replacing hot water heaters, buying new cars, watching Angelina Ballerina, making an occasional BM in the toilet (you'll appreciate the use of "BM"), shoveling snow on a weekly basis, spending an exorbitant amount of money at Kohls, using Bed, Bath, and Beyond coupons (we must--Linens and Things went out of business after you died--two events that I'm sure are related), getting extended bedtimes, vacuuming on a near-daily basis, getting a new stove, non-stop food shopping, making new friends, drinking lots of wine, creating new recipes, seeing shows, facebooking (you wouldn't get it), "working on the 'puter", paying bills, complaining about bills, making new bills, celebrating birthdays, yelling at Ruby for eating diapers out of the garbage, trying to keep Penny from scratching every piece of new furniture we bring into this house and anything and everything else involved with life.
But, please don't let the above paragraph make you think that I don't wish we could do every one of those things with you.
9/16/10
Abbe's Ritual
My Aunt Abbe has started a new ritual with Leah. Every few weeks she sends Leah a small gift, with a note inside. Leah loves seeing the boxes waiting at our door, and gets excited to open them up and look inside. I love the notes. They are so sweet and say cute little things that I read to Leah.
This was taken after she opened some adorable little hair ties from Aunt Abbe.
And this one was after she opened a new sippy cup with a cool straw. Of course, she had to use it immediately.
This is a sweet ritual that my Aunt’s started, and I can’t help but think it’s due mostly to the fact that my mom is not here to do this for Leah. My Aunt wants to keep a presence in Leah’s life—for her to know what it’s like to have so many relatives who love and care about her.
I’m saving the letters that come with the gifts and starting a scrapbook for Leah. I think she’ll get a kick out of reading them when she’s older.
Thanks, Aunt Abbe. We love you.
This was taken after she opened some adorable little hair ties from Aunt Abbe.
And this one was after she opened a new sippy cup with a cool straw. Of course, she had to use it immediately.
This is a sweet ritual that my Aunt’s started, and I can’t help but think it’s due mostly to the fact that my mom is not here to do this for Leah. My Aunt wants to keep a presence in Leah’s life—for her to know what it’s like to have so many relatives who love and care about her.
I’m saving the letters that come with the gifts and starting a scrapbook for Leah. I think she’ll get a kick out of reading them when she’s older.
Thanks, Aunt Abbe. We love you.
8/17/10
Letters Never Sent
Dear Greg,
You are doing a good job at helping around the house. I almost fell off the chair last night when you said you had to go and finish vacuuming and mopping. Apparently, housework is more enjoyable than my nagging. Who knew?
Love, Dana
Dear Leah,
Daddy and I were very happy when you took that enormous poop in the toilet on Sunday. We were also very surprised that something that large was inside of you. Thank you for disposing of that in the toilet, rather than in your diaper where there was sure to be a logistical issue.
Love, Mommy and Daddy
Dear Ruby,
Your sweet little pit bull mouth smells worse than a rogue dirty diaper left in the car for five days. I know that this is really something that I have to deal with, and not something that you can just go and take care of, but if you are wondering why we all leave the room when you enter, it’s because of this.
Love, Mom
Dear Penny,
Your continued bitchyness astounds me. I must admit that I first thought this was all a front, and once you let your cat-hair down, you’d warm up to us all and turn out to actually be a lover. But, you continue to hate on everyone, shed uncontrollably, cost us more money than I’d care to admit when you decided the living room was your litter box, and actually got pissed at me when I suggested you leave the window sill last night so that I may close the window. I’m SORRY that I wanted to put on the air conditioner. Sue me. Oh wait, you probably will.
Love, That Idiot who feeds you, scoops your box, attempts to pet you and generally just annoys the crap out of you
Dear Collared Greens,
I will admit that I did not know what you were, but, I didn’t want to sound stupid. So when Greg asked me if I liked you, I answered with a wholehearted, “YES, DUH.” Well, it turns out that I do, in fact, like you, however, my digestive track feels the need to get you through at speeds that I am not used to dealing with. Uh, like, halfway through the meal. So, while I thought we could be friends, it is looking like we might not be able to make that work, as I have never spent as much time in the bathroom as I do when I eat you. Oh, wait, there was that time that I tried Activia for the hell of it…
Love, Hold on, I’ll be right baccckkkk…..
Dear Chocolate,
Hello lover. It’s that time of the month when we are due to have our affair. Don’t tell Greg, but I kind of look forward to these times. Everyone leaves us alone, and we get to smooch all night long while watching DVR-ed NJ Housewives episodes. I think I will have you with some nuts tonight, to mix it up a bit. I know that next week I will regret our time together but, Chocolate, I wish I knew how to quit you! (Not really.)
Love, DeeDee
.
.
.
You are doing a good job at helping around the house. I almost fell off the chair last night when you said you had to go and finish vacuuming and mopping. Apparently, housework is more enjoyable than my nagging. Who knew?
Love, Dana
Dear Leah,
Daddy and I were very happy when you took that enormous poop in the toilet on Sunday. We were also very surprised that something that large was inside of you. Thank you for disposing of that in the toilet, rather than in your diaper where there was sure to be a logistical issue.
Love, Mommy and Daddy
Dear Ruby,
Your sweet little pit bull mouth smells worse than a rogue dirty diaper left in the car for five days. I know that this is really something that I have to deal with, and not something that you can just go and take care of, but if you are wondering why we all leave the room when you enter, it’s because of this.
Love, Mom
Dear Penny,
Your continued bitchyness astounds me. I must admit that I first thought this was all a front, and once you let your cat-hair down, you’d warm up to us all and turn out to actually be a lover. But, you continue to hate on everyone, shed uncontrollably, cost us more money than I’d care to admit when you decided the living room was your litter box, and actually got pissed at me when I suggested you leave the window sill last night so that I may close the window. I’m SORRY that I wanted to put on the air conditioner. Sue me. Oh wait, you probably will.
Love, That Idiot who feeds you, scoops your box, attempts to pet you and generally just annoys the crap out of you
Dear Collared Greens,
I will admit that I did not know what you were, but, I didn’t want to sound stupid. So when Greg asked me if I liked you, I answered with a wholehearted, “YES, DUH.” Well, it turns out that I do, in fact, like you, however, my digestive track feels the need to get you through at speeds that I am not used to dealing with. Uh, like, halfway through the meal. So, while I thought we could be friends, it is looking like we might not be able to make that work, as I have never spent as much time in the bathroom as I do when I eat you. Oh, wait, there was that time that I tried Activia for the hell of it…
Love, Hold on, I’ll be right baccckkkk…..
Dear Chocolate,
Hello lover. It’s that time of the month when we are due to have our affair. Don’t tell Greg, but I kind of look forward to these times. Everyone leaves us alone, and we get to smooch all night long while watching DVR-ed NJ Housewives episodes. I think I will have you with some nuts tonight, to mix it up a bit. I know that next week I will regret our time together but, Chocolate, I wish I knew how to quit you! (Not really.)
Love, DeeDee
.
.
5/7/10
Dear Mom...
Well, here we are. Our third Mother's Day without you. And hey, guess what? It's not any easier!
Go figure.
My first Mother's Day without you was also my first Mother's Day as a mother. It was the holiday I was dreading the most to have to experience without you there. But, we managed. As we always do.
What I like about Mother's Day is that Adriana wants to spend it with me each year. Her reasoning is that I'm the mother that she's closest to. She always does something nice for me, too. Like takes me for a pedicure or changes Leah's diapers.
This may make me sound like a bad person, but on Mother's Day I just want to be able to do what I want. I know I should say things like, "I want to spend the whole day with my family." or "I want my family to shower me with love, attention, and gifts."
But I really just want to do what I want to do and not have to answer to anyone. Sometimes, that means not spending the whole day playing with Leah. Sue me.
I wonder if that's how you ever felt. You never said it, and for good reason. We would have been hurt if you said you didn't want to be with us for the entire day. Or, maybe because you hadn't lost your mom, you didn't really dread the day the way I do. Maybe you didn't want to just quietly have the day pass without much fanfare. Like I do.
Well, this year I want to get a pedicure with Adriana (and only Adriana, Leah) and then I want to order Chinese food so that I don't have to cook and clean the kitchen. That's it. Everything else is just gravy.
Stay tune on Monday for a great Mother's Day Giveaway. It's our first giveaway sponsered by an actual person with an actual business and not something I grabbed while on line at Pathmark! Have a good one!
.
.
.
Go figure.
My first Mother's Day without you was also my first Mother's Day as a mother. It was the holiday I was dreading the most to have to experience without you there. But, we managed. As we always do.
What I like about Mother's Day is that Adriana wants to spend it with me each year. Her reasoning is that I'm the mother that she's closest to. She always does something nice for me, too. Like takes me for a pedicure or changes Leah's diapers.
This may make me sound like a bad person, but on Mother's Day I just want to be able to do what I want. I know I should say things like, "I want to spend the whole day with my family." or "I want my family to shower me with love, attention, and gifts."
But I really just want to do what I want to do and not have to answer to anyone. Sometimes, that means not spending the whole day playing with Leah. Sue me.
I wonder if that's how you ever felt. You never said it, and for good reason. We would have been hurt if you said you didn't want to be with us for the entire day. Or, maybe because you hadn't lost your mom, you didn't really dread the day the way I do. Maybe you didn't want to just quietly have the day pass without much fanfare. Like I do.
Well, this year I want to get a pedicure with Adriana (and only Adriana, Leah) and then I want to order Chinese food so that I don't have to cook and clean the kitchen. That's it. Everything else is just gravy.
Mom, 1978
Stay tune on Monday for a great Mother's Day Giveaway. It's our first giveaway sponsered by an actual person with an actual business and not something I grabbed while on line at Pathmark! Have a good one!
.
.
.
3/11/10
Dear Mom...
So, I wanted to make something to remember you by, and I can't whittle wood, and I'm not good with paper mache, and I've never been too fond of voodoo dolls, and I don't have room in my house for a shrine. So I started a blog. And, it's going well! Don't get me wrong-it takes up way too much time, but I've decided that Leah should be cooking her own food and changing her own diapers by this age, so, voila! I've found the time.
Anyway, I've gotten some great feedback. People seem to enjoy it. And if that's just lip service, well, then continue to serve, lips of the people, because I love it and it makes me feel good and I'm going to try to keep it up.
There have been some tough posts to write, but I just keep telling myself that's part of the process and all writers must face strife and humility, and one day, when I get over myself, and stop acting like I delivered Jesus while taking a break from all-important blogging, and remember that I am still a regular person who buys her underwear at Costco, I am hoping that I will look back on this blog and really be proud of what I've accomplished.
Until then, of course, I continue to go to work each day and blog each night so that I may make enough money for Leah's therapy that she will inevitably need thanks to my penchant for diarrhea of the mouth on this here website.
So, that's it, Ma. Hope Heaven's serving mashed potatoes tonight. I know they were your favorite!
Anyway, I've gotten some great feedback. People seem to enjoy it. And if that's just lip service, well, then continue to serve, lips of the people, because I love it and it makes me feel good and I'm going to try to keep it up.
There have been some tough posts to write, but I just keep telling myself that's part of the process and all writers must face strife and humility, and one day, when I get over myself, and stop acting like I delivered Jesus while taking a break from all-important blogging, and remember that I am still a regular person who buys her underwear at Costco, I am hoping that I will look back on this blog and really be proud of what I've accomplished.
Until then, of course, I continue to go to work each day and blog each night so that I may make enough money for Leah's therapy that she will inevitably need thanks to my penchant for diarrhea of the mouth on this here website.
So, that's it, Ma. Hope Heaven's serving mashed potatoes tonight. I know they were your favorite!
Mom and Dana, 1994
2/22/10
Dear Mom...
Yesterday Greg and I celebrated a belated Valentine's Day out. We dropped off Leah at your house for Daddy's first big babysitting gig! It's taken 23 months, but we thought it was finally time for him to babysit The Little Dictator. It's only fair--everyone else in the family has. Save for Marco. We need a little more time to prepare for THAT. Thankfully, Adriana was there for a few hours, since Leah decided to poop THREE times! Can you imagine if Daddy had to change those diapers?? Greg and I joked that he probably would have just taken her outside and hosed her down.
When we arrived back at your house Leah was still in one piece. Daddy looked exhausted! She didn't nap for him, despite his best efforts, and the house was a mess. But, it seemed like both of them had had a wonderful time together. Leah loves him: says "pa pa" all the time, gets excited when we pull on your street, and knows that he's one more person in her arsonal that will let her get away with anything.
I often think about how much time you would have been spending with Leah if you were here. I think about how you would have probably come and picked her up on Saturday mornings and taken her for a day of Grandma time. How the two of you would have been best friends. How I would have put her on the phone to talk to you when you called. I wonder what name she would have made up for you. It's just heartbreaking knowing that she won't feel the excitement of going to see Grandma that I used to feel with Nanny Vi.
But, she's definately going to feel the excitement of going to see Grandpa Enzo. That I'm sure of.
Mom-you would have been proud of Daddy yesterday. He did a great job.
Love,
Dana
When we arrived back at your house Leah was still in one piece. Daddy looked exhausted! She didn't nap for him, despite his best efforts, and the house was a mess. But, it seemed like both of them had had a wonderful time together. Leah loves him: says "pa pa" all the time, gets excited when we pull on your street, and knows that he's one more person in her arsonal that will let her get away with anything.
I often think about how much time you would have been spending with Leah if you were here. I think about how you would have probably come and picked her up on Saturday mornings and taken her for a day of Grandma time. How the two of you would have been best friends. How I would have put her on the phone to talk to you when you called. I wonder what name she would have made up for you. It's just heartbreaking knowing that she won't feel the excitement of going to see Grandma that I used to feel with Nanny Vi.
But, she's definately going to feel the excitement of going to see Grandpa Enzo. That I'm sure of.
Mom-you would have been proud of Daddy yesterday. He did a great job.
Love,
Dana
Dana and Adriana, August 2004
2/16/10
Dear Mom...
February 16, 2010
It's been 2 years and three months since you've been gone. I still have a hard time believing it. No, scratch that. I just have a hard time coming to terms with it. I know you're gone, and I now know that no amount of bargaining or hoping is going to bring you back. I now know that you will never meet your granddaughter, or any other grandchildren that might follow. I'll never have a picture of you with Leah to show her when she's older. I know that. But it doesn't make it any easier.
To be honest, life has been so busy, I haven't been keeping up with everyone lately to see how they are handling things. I apologize for that. I'm launching this website soon as a way to deal with your passing and also as a tribute to you. I want other people to know who you were and how much you meant to me.
I hope I do you proud.
Love,
Dana
It's been 2 years and three months since you've been gone. I still have a hard time believing it. No, scratch that. I just have a hard time coming to terms with it. I know you're gone, and I now know that no amount of bargaining or hoping is going to bring you back. I now know that you will never meet your granddaughter, or any other grandchildren that might follow. I'll never have a picture of you with Leah to show her when she's older. I know that. But it doesn't make it any easier.
To be honest, life has been so busy, I haven't been keeping up with everyone lately to see how they are handling things. I apologize for that. I'm launching this website soon as a way to deal with your passing and also as a tribute to you. I want other people to know who you were and how much you meant to me.
I hope I do you proud.
Love,
Dana
Greg and Dana, 2004
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)