Cousins

Our holiday weekend was low key, which, as I get older and more exhausted, is exactly how I prefer them.  On Monday, we went to an indoor BBQ at my dad's, due to the rain, and Leah got to play with two of her favorite people, Matthew and Bella.

Bella is getting so big--she's almost one--and I when I saw her and Leah playing this weekend I got a glimpse of what the future might be like when those two get together.

It included bail money.

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The Healing Corner: Abbe's Story; Part Four

It was Thanksgiving 1983. We had just purchased out first home 4 months prior. The week before I found out I was pregnant with our second child.



Ray III was 3 yrs old. Because I grew up in a Jewish household, I just loved all the Christmas holiday things. The family, the food, the gifts - meaning the shopping, the wrapping and cooking ~ alot of things people thought a chore I thought was fun. Since I was new to all this I also over indulged in shopping and planning.



A few weeks before Christmas I started spotting. I went to the doctor and he told me to stay off of my feet as much as possible.



I did, but it was the holidays and I also had a toddler at home and a husband who worked long hours. Anyone who lived nearby was busy in their own lives.



As usual we were planning to go to North Jersey for Christmas. It felt like one of those changes was going to get the best of us within the next couple of years because we were the only family members that lived down the shore at the time. We could still travel with little Ray, but we felt in the near future we would want him waking up in his own home on Christmas to share the excitement.



It was a bitter cold winter. I mean bitter. Below freezing wind factors.



Christmas Eve day I started spotting more. Then the pain started.....and continued. I couldn't/shouldn't leave my bed. I was hoping I wasn't miscarrying.



Uncle Ray stopped on the way home from work on Christmas Eve, picked up a roast and some fixings that he could put together for us for Christmas dinner at the last minute since we couldn't travel. I told him to go up north with Ray and spend the holiday there. He wouldn't go.



5:30 that morning I woke up in extreme pain and just knew from the depth of my soul I just miscarried. Here is was Christmas morning. I had to call the doctor. He said maybe not, just stay off my feet. I knew differently because the pain stopped out of the blue.



I cried for the baby I just miscarried. I cried because I pulled my husband and son away from the extended family for the day. I will never, ever forget Ray's words to me at that moment....."Abbe, you and Ray are my family. We are here together. This is how it's going to be from now on as our family grows."



That was the turning point in us running up north on Christmas. We realized that our immediate family was important and we had to alter tradition. We found our way over the years how to visit a day or two later. It's was all ok.



Later into the morning I called my friend Colleen to tell her what had just happened. She invited us to stop by later in the evening for dessert with her parents and family. It was the start of a new tradition. Now 27 yrs laters I still stop by late on Christmas night. Through that 27 yrs, she's divorced and has a new segment to her family, Uncle Ray died, her Dad died who always made the plum pudding Uncle Ray craved for every year, the kids have grown, sometimes one of our kids are there, sometimes not....however it falls, it works.



The next morning I went to the doctor and the ultrasound confirmed what I already knew.



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Progress

Anyone who knows Leah knows that this is a big deal.  She's not big on holiday-themed, life-sized characters.  But on the way to lunch the other day we passed the Easter Bunny.  And lo and behold, she touched him!  TOUCHED HIM!!  Long enough for me to find my phone, turn the camera on, and take a picture.  Despite the fact that the Easter Bunny is making some vulgar hand/mouth gesture. 

I'm not holding my breath for Santa or anything, because I don't want to get my hopes up, but maybe I will get to proudly display a picture of Leah with Santa this year.    As opposed to a picture of Leah with a statue of Santa.  Which is very lame.




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Santa was here!  And he was very generous!

 

He brought some great things.  And some questionable items, as well.

And, in true Gulino fashion, we've got a weirdo on our hands.

(However, this strange attempt at climbing in a doll tent also proves she's got Grieco in her, as well.)

All in all, a great day.  A really, really great day.

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8 Maids a Milking

Christmas is kind of a big deal around here.  I love Christmas, for the presents, the decorations, the parties, all of it.

I am trying to get Leah excited about Christmas and even though she probably doesn't really understand what the day is going to be like, she knows about Santa, and the gifts he brings, the cookies we bake, the movies we can watch, and the parties we attend. 

I plan on finishing up my shopping this weekend and then I'll officially be ready for the holiday.  I host Christmas at my house, something that my mother used to do and that I've always wanted to do, and something that I hope to do forever. 

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Halloween

We started off the weekend at a Pumpkin Patch...

And ended the weekend with a little Trick or Treating...

And lots of stuff in between.  But you'll have to wait until tomorrow to see that.
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The Goose is Getting Fat

So, this is going to sound strange, since Halloween is on Sunday, but I've been thinking about Christmas lately, and I need your help.

Last year Greg's siblings decided to stop exchanging gifts, except for Leah, which makes me feel 1) bad that they still buy for Leah while they don't have children for me to buy for, and 2) a little sad that I don't get the thrill of finding the perfect gift for them, which is seriously one of the best highs in life for me, and 3) so grateful for the extra time and money that I've gained as a result of my shopping list being cut in half. 

I casually mentioned this idea to my sister last year and she shot it down before I even got the words out.  Therefore, I still exchange gifts with my siblings.  Which is fine with me, because I like the idea of exchanging, and I like the idea of not exchanging, so I have the best of both worlds.

I do want to know, however, what others are doing out there.  Are adults still exchanging with siblings?  How about siblings' spouses?  Do you just keep it to your parents and the kids in the family?  Do you do a grab bag?  Card?  Coal? 

And, once you've answered all of those questions, tell me: what are you getting your sister, brother, sister's boyfriend, brother's wife, and dad?  Because I am at a total loss this year.  TOTAL. LOSS.

Ok, thank you!
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Our Weekend

On July 4th, we decided to have a BBQ.  Leah is very patriotic, so she dressed accordingly.  Here she is waiting for the party to start.

Once the guests arrived, it was time for fun. It was hot that day, so it felt refreshing to go for a swim. 

At night, Leah went to see fireworks for the first time.  She is still on the fence about how she feels about them. 

On Monday, we took Leah to Space Farms Zoo and Museum. 

 

This was the first time she had ever gone to a zoo, so it was a very big deal. 

She was excited to see most of the animals...

And loved the ones that she could feed.

It was really hot, so we took a lot of drink breaks.

She was such a good girl, and we let her walk on her own for most of the day.

We just told her that if she was naughty, she'd end up in jail!

And, this little car seemed like a lot of fun...

Until I did the unthinkable and put a quarter in it.  Ahhhh!  Bad mommy!

So, we'll just stick with zoos for now.

Oh, and playgrounds too.

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June 22, 2007

We were born before the wind

Also younger than the sun

Ere the bonnie boat was won as we sailed into the mystic

Hark, now hear the sailors cry

Smell the sea and feel the sky

Let your soul and spirit fly into the mystic

And when that fog horn blows I will be coming home

And when the fog horn blows I want to hear it

I don't have to fear it

And I want to rock your gypsy soul

Just like way back in the days of old

And magnificently we will flow into the mystic

When that fog horn blows you know I will be coming home

And when that fog horn whistle blows I got to hear it

I don't have to fear it

And I want to rock your gypsy soul

Just like way back in the days of old

And together we will flow into the mystic

Come on girl...

Too late to stop now...

Happy Anniversary, Hun.  It's been a great three years.

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About a Boy

This is Greg.

Greg recently began working with my dad.

So far, it appears to be going well.

I'm a nervous wreck, though, thinking about how the two men in my life now spend over 8 hours a day with each other.

I'm afraid that this might end in my not speaking to one of them.

Or both.

In addition to working with my dad,

which, believe me, I could NEVER do,

Greg is an awesome dad to one Miss Cha Cha.

Who is slightly obsessed with her new "bike."

But this weekend we are going to try to not be too high maintenance,

or demanding, or attention-seeking,

as us girls are sometimes wont to do,

and we are going to do special things for Greggy.

Yes, there will still be biking...

And don't forget looking cute...

But we'll also try to spend some time together as a family and appreciate all that we've got.

And all that's still to come.

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Big E

If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know that my dad is crazy. He was born in Italy in 1949, came to America in 1969, married my mom in 1974, and became a dad in 1976. And again in 1980. And one more time in 1982.

And god help us all if that list ever continues.


I’m not sure what made my dad crazy exactly, but it could be a mix of his heritage, his upbringing, and good old fashion love. At least, that’s what my dad claims. He loves us all so much, that his children and their antics are responsible for making him nuts.

My mom would work a few nights a week when we were young. I will never forget the way my dad would sing “We’re Off to See the Wizard” pulling both my sister and I on each arm up the steps on our way to bed. You know how kids sometimes laugh so hard they can’t even control their body and they fall to the ground? THAT’S what would happen to Adriana and I when he would sing that song.

I’ve written before that my dad was quite strict with me, and I wasn’t permitted to do much on my own growing up. I went to ONE high school party where alcohol was served, and when I was caught, I got in trouble. I wasn’t permitted to go down the shore for Memorial Day weekend my senior year of high school with the rest of my class. When I returned home after college I was expected to follow his strict curfew rules that hadn’t really changed much since high school, and it caused a LOT of problems between us. So much so, I moved out when I was 22 and got my own apartment.



Since it’s been quite some time, I think I can say this, which I’ve been holding in for a long time. Dad, when I moved back home after graduation you expected me to be home by midnight on most nights. This in itself was tough because I had just spent four years living in Boston making my own curfew rules. I had graduated with honors and all of my limbs still intact. I thought I had sufficiently proved to everyone that I was a pretty good judge of being my own boss with regards to returning home at night. HOWEVER, what made following the curfew rule so difficult was that Marco was sneaking out of the house every single night and taking the bus to NYC to skateboard and, when I caught him leaving one night, he asked me not to tell you and I promised to keep his secret. So, while I was expected to be home and asleep by midnight, Marco was gathering his quarters and taping his sneakers, or whatever stupid things skaters did, preparing for his night out.


There. I feel better.


The aftermath of me moving out and years and years of strife could possibly have been avoided if I had ratted my brother out. But I didn’t.  Ah, who am I kidding.  I still would have moved out and Marco would have gotten in trouble.  It wasn't worth it.


Anyway, once I moved out, the relationship between my dad and I had its ups and downs. It was a tough few years where I was upset for being kicked out and he was upset for feeling that I abandoned him.


Suffice to say, we had a time.


But time heals, and today, I am proud to say that we have a good relationship. I mean, I still think he’s nuts, and I am sure he thinks I’m a pain in the butt, but we have been through a lot together and we’re in it for the long haul. And now, I’ve got Leah. And it’s important to me for both of them to be in each other’s life.


So, on Sunday, I’m going to spend some time with my dad and show him how much I love him and appreciate him. He’s a good dad and he provided for us in every possible way.

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Weekend Wrap Up

Busy weekend, and aside from my rant in which I got dramatic and quoted a Les Mis song, (thank you, GLEE, now get out of my head) we had a really good time.


We attended two BBQs and one parade. We got the gazebo up around the pool and I actually took a swim!  In May! I think that’s a first. It was chilly, but I am proud to announce that I did not lose any toes to frostbite.

We have a big, big weekend coming up, with a huge celebration for a very special girl. Everyone is running around like a lunatic and I feel like my house is a scene out of Steel Magnolias when they are preparing for the wedding in the beginning.

There is old furniture being moved; there is new furniture being brought in. There are toilets to clean; there are tents, tables, and chairs to set up. There are high expectations for a large purple dinosaur who has been invited to attend the extravaganza. We are finally having a proper 2 year old birthday party for Leah, and I am she is very excited!


More to come...

One of these people is very excited for the parade to start.

The other...is not.
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Dear Mom...

Well, here we are.  Our third Mother's Day without you.  And hey, guess what?  It's not any easier! 

Go figure.

My first Mother's Day without you was also my first Mother's Day as a mother.  It was the holiday I was dreading the most to have to experience without you there.  But, we managed.  As we always do.

What I like about Mother's Day is that Adriana wants to spend it with me each year.  Her reasoning is that I'm the mother that she's closest to.  She always does something nice for me, too.  Like takes me for a pedicure or changes Leah's diapers.

This may make me sound like a bad person, but on Mother's Day I just want to be able to do what I want.  I know I should say things like, "I want to spend the whole day with my family." or "I want my family to shower me with love, attention, and gifts." 

But I really just want to do what I want to do and not have to answer to anyone.  Sometimes, that means not spending the whole day playing with Leah.  Sue me.

I wonder if that's how you ever felt.  You never said it, and for good reason.  We would have been hurt if you said you didn't want to be with us for the entire day.  Or, maybe because you hadn't lost your mom, you didn't really dread the day the way I do.  Maybe you didn't want to just quietly have the day pass without much fanfare.  Like I do.

Well, this year I want to get a pedicure with Adriana (and only Adriana, Leah) and then I want to order Chinese food so that I don't have to cook and clean the kitchen.  That's it.  Everything else is just gravy.

Mom, 1978

Stay tune on Monday for a great Mother's Day Giveaway.  It's our first giveaway sponsered by an actual person with an actual business and not something I grabbed while on line at Pathmark!  Have a good one!
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Easter 2010

Happy Easter!

We had an egg hunt,

Ate some snacks,

Took some pics with the fam,

And had an all-around good time.

But this picture is for my mom, who would have gotten as much a kick out of it as my sister and I did.  I won't bore you with the actual story, because I suspect it's only funny to those of us that were there, but suffice to say that it's tradition in my family for one egg each year to have a particular word on it.

Here you go.

Hope you all had a wonderful holiday.  I'm fresh with new photo albums from the 70's, so I'll be dusting off the scanner, and we'll return to our regularly scheduled reminiscing and pondering tomorrow.

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