What Are We Doing Here?

As I reach out to more of you, I want to explain a little more about this site and tell you where I'd like to see it go.  Since my mother passed away I've been searching for other people who have felt and experienced terrible grief like I have.  I have searched for groups and forums, hoping to find someone, anyone, who can empathize with me and validate my feelings.  Not someone who is willing to listen, because I have such wonderful friends willing to do that.  But moreso someone who has experienced the pain of loss that I have. Someone who has had to birth and mother her daugther while simultaneously mourning her mother.

Humans are wonderful creatures.  There are those of us who thrive on being our own, individual beings, with our own individual belief systems. Those who prefer to boogie to the beat of their own drum, front and center and by themself.  And then are the ones who enjoy being part of a flock, if only in certain situations, who wish to lean on a pal during their time of need, and to provide a shoulder to that pal when necessary. 

I want a flock, my flock.  I want people to know that there are others feeling like them; other people who have hurt, or been hurt in the past, and are trying to just make it through the day.  That there are men and women out there who have gone through what they have gone through, who have to put on their happy face each day, even when it's particularly difficult. I wish for this website to serve as an outlet for them.

It will be so much more to me, too, a place for me to share my day, my life, my ideas.  A place to learn how to be a better mother and to show my daughter how important she is.  How she saved my life. But it will always be a place where one can remember a loved one, and it will hopefully be able to provide a shoulder when necessary.

A friend once said that his main goal in life was to just try to live between the earth and the sky.  Right you were, Nate.  Right you were.

Questions, comments, contributions, recommendations?  Let me know!

1 comment:

Tracy Crum said...

Dana, one word...touching. Simply touching. I lost my Mom September 2007, just after the summer I met my to-be husband, Bartley. And she told me the day she met him, "he's the one"..."don't let him go". So here I was head over heals in love with a man as I slowly watched my mother die over 6 months. I felt guilty for being so happy while I was with him...yet so lost going through the pre-grieving stages of knowing my mother would soon pass. It was an emotional roller coaster, as I am sure you can relate, losing your mother while pregnant. So on one of her final days here....she grabbed Bartley's hand and told her to marry me...and that she wanted him to use her engagement ring (as it has been passed down in her family for years). You've never seen a more emotional man, than my husband to be that day. How he loved my mother and bonded with her in such a short period of time. He honored her wishes and asked me to marry him two months after her passing. In any event, we married the following year around her birthday, as my one last "big" gift to her...giving her daughter away. We celebrated her life that day, I cried....I mourned again...and then someone said, Tracy....this is your day, and she is her...remember her...and honor her...but live, for she is living in you. And I did, we danced and we sang...and I know she was right there the entire night holding my fathers hand.
I am now 30 weeks pregnant and crying a lot....how am I going to do this without her? Who am I going to ask my "what do I do" questions too?
I just wanted you to know, different scenerios, but similar heart aches....
I would love to talk more with you...and meet your lovely daughter and see an old friend once again.
Perhaps, coffee sometime?