A List of Things That Suck

1) Stores that expect you to bring your cart back to the cart area after you've emptied your bags into your trunk.  It's like if you came to my job in the hopes of getting some solar panels on your home and I asked you to do my filing too.  Oh,  you'd like to get an alternate form of energy?  Ok, here, answer my email.

1a) Stores that you have to put a quarter in the cart in order to unlock it and use it.  They think this is some clever way of getting you to return your cart to the cart area once you're done.  No, this is just one more thing for me to worry about the entire ride to the store, because I can't remember if I used my last quarter and I start panicking and looking around the car for a quarter and I break into a sweat.  I have a long food shopping trip to get through and I am starting off with a nice panicked drive to the store.  Jeez!  Shop Rite!!  You suck!!

2) People who purposely pull into a lane that they know is going to eventually merge into the same lane they just came from but is moving (slightly) faster.  Oh, wow, you just went a whole four car lengths ahead.  Oh!  And now you're cutting back in front of me!  You are so clever.  If clever means a jerk.

3) People who continually lie despite the fact that their lies are ridiculously unbelievable.  Please just stop.  You don't own a lot of real estate but keep your job at the plant just for fun.  Or, you.  You didn't hang out with NeNe last month in Atlanta. 

4) John Lithgow.

5) Clutter.  Oh, and I guess I should just come clean.  I not only dislike clutter in my house, but I dislike clutter in yours too.  I know I said that I don't mind it in your house, but that might not be true.  I'M SORRY!

6) Scooping kitty litter.  This, like John Lithgow, needs no explanation.

7) When people tell me to have another kid.  I'm going to break this one down.  Here's the thing:  the fact that I don't have an additional child means either 1) I don't want another child, or 2) I can't have another child.  Either one of those situations appear to be none of your business.  So, why keep telling me what to do?  If my case is number 1, then please realize I have my (private) reasons and it's rude to tell another adult what to do, and if my case is number 2, please realize how insensitive and hurtful your statement may be.

8) Laundry.  Mother-effing laundry. 


Jo said...

Well, Dana, I really hate to point out the fact that you are guilty of #3 when writing about #5. Wait, no I'm not: I hate pointing that out about as much as you're sorry about hating my clutter. You're not one bit sorry. I know, I can smell the glee of your judgement a thousand miles away.


jackie said...

love number 7.. you know who to call if you need to chat!!!!