Baby No Name

List of Potential Baby Names

Dana

Dante

Holden

Sebastian

Spencer

Simon

Gianvincent

Rocco

Theodore

Jude

Silas

Dillon

Gabriel

Harrison

Sawyer

Jasper

Greg

Oscar

And there we are. 

The Finish Line

Again!

It wasn't easier.  But I trained less this year.  And I gave myself permission before the race to walk if I needed to.  But I guess I never really needed to, because I never stopped to walk.

It was different this time.  I wasn't doing something for the first time.  I wasn't at the brim of tears for achieving something I worked so hard at.  It wasn't as emotional.  I didn't have as much riding on it.  I was just doing something that I now do each year and am really proud of myself for doing.

I shaved a couple of minutes off of my time from last year, but I am not really concerned with time.  When I am running the 5K, I only care about finishing.  (Said like a true slow runner.) 

And, as always, there is no better feeling than the one that you feel when you see Mile Marker 3.  Because that means there is only .1 left.  And that .1 is the easiest running you'll ever do.  It's the type of running that you can do while holding your daughter's hand and smiling.  It's feel-good running, and I wish I could capture that feeling and bottle it and use it in other aspects of my life.

This year has been different than the past few.  I can't say it's been great, but it's been better.  Life without my mom has always been a journey, I've said that before, but there have been times where I've seen the metaphorical Mile Marker 3.  Where it's not only no longer a burden to go on, but a joy.  There have been times where I've been living in the .1--me: pessimistic, sarcastic Dana, seeing mile 3, moving faster, grabbing my kid's hand, smiling, smooth moving for the last bit of the race, happy to finally cross the finish line.

My Little Baby, No More

I purchased some bathing suits on sale for Leah for next year.  I bought a size 4T.  They might as well have come from that Justice store because they look enormous.  I can't imagine, that next summer, in 12 short months, Leah will be wearing those bathing suits.  They are just so damn big and I don't want her to fit into them.  I mourn for the baby she once was and attempt to remain optimistic for the girl she is turning into.



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In Deep Sleep

Usually Leah is running at 115% all day long and there is not much that slows her down.  It's non-stop from 5:30 a.m. till 8:00 p.m. with a two hour nap in between.  However, every once in a while she goes balls to the wall for hours upon hours and crashes during the day on the couch.  It happens so infrequently, I've been able to catch all occurrences on film!  Here they are:

and fin.

That's it.  Just once.

Thoughts

I think of my mom every day and probably will forever. Sometimes it stings and sometimes it doesn’t. I know that they say that if something doesn’t hurt then it no longer means something to you, but I don’t care. I’d rather be able to think of my mom and not have it hurt. I’d rather it just be a thought in my head, along the lines of “buy pull ups” and “dvr Glee.”




Marco, Adriana, and I took my dad out for brunch on Sunday. Afterwards everyone came over to my house to swim. Marco threw everyone in the pool. The family raft was a big hit. Bella fell asleep in the stroller. I made pastina and then ordered pizza. We sat in the shade. Greg kept changing the station. Leah screamed “god bless America” like a mad patriot.



And I didn’t really think of my mom. And it was such a good day.



Yesterday was a good friend’s birthday. Happy Birthday, Gabrielle. Sorry you missed out on your birthday party.

A Week of Firsts: Greg

Greg started his new job on Monday, and it's going great!  He is in the training period right now, which apparently requires one to be at work at 11 a.m. and be done for the day at 1:30 p.m.  How nice for Greg, while his wife pulls 12 hours days out of the house! 

He is excited to start the actual selling that the job entails and so am I.  1) I like money, 2) I like to see Greg happy, and 3) I like money. 

When I started this website Greg was all I want my own page, put this picture up of me, oh, get me from his angle, however, recently he's been quite modest and no longer allows me to plaster his picture up all over this place.  So, right about here is where I would plop a picture of Greg in this post, but instead, you get the cartoon character that best sums up Greg.

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A Week of Firsts: L.P.

Leah started school today.  A little earlier than first planned, but since Greg's new job has regular 9-5 hours, we needed to put her in full time starting now, rather than in September. 

She did really well!  No crying, no accidents, and from what her teacher reported, she played well with other children.

Leah reported that Jacob hit a little baby after he got up from nap.

Wish us luck on Day Two!

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On A Day, In May

It's her day, and it's my day, and we never got the chance to celebrate together.

And today I'm spending the day with Adriana.  As per the usual.  At the crappy nail salon that we are forced to go to because it's the only one that's open on Sundays.

And, I've decided to turn over a new leaf and bring Leah with us.  Up until this year, I've felt like Mother's Day is my day to do whatever I want, however selfish, even if that means not spending the day with my daughter.  But this year I realized that wanting to spend the day without my daughter is exactly the opposite of how I want her to feel on this day.  When she's older, I hope that she wants to do special things with me on this day, and how horrible is it that I want to be alone?  Just because I no longer have a mom to spend the day with?  God, Dana, you're such a brat.  So, today, Leah gets her first pedicure, Dana will undoubtedly need an early glass of wine, and Adriana will most likely take extra birth control tonight...but, we'll spend it together like we would have done if my mom was still here. 

 I choose to have Leah with me today because I love her and I want to spend Mother's Day with her.

And because I totally don't have a babysitter. 

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Progress

Anyone who knows Leah knows that this is a big deal.  She's not big on holiday-themed, life-sized characters.  But on the way to lunch the other day we passed the Easter Bunny.  And lo and behold, she touched him!  TOUCHED HIM!!  Long enough for me to find my phone, turn the camera on, and take a picture.  Despite the fact that the Easter Bunny is making some vulgar hand/mouth gesture. 

I'm not holding my breath for Santa or anything, because I don't want to get my hopes up, but maybe I will get to proudly display a picture of Leah with Santa this year.    As opposed to a picture of Leah with a statue of Santa.  Which is very lame.




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