Batarseh, Doctor

I miss joking with my mom.  She always got my jokes; she always laughed at my jokes.  I knew she'd never take something I said the wrong way even if it might had been at her expense.  She knew it was all in good fun.  She was great at laughing at herself.  She reminded me of my friend Adele, who still to this day, despite being 145 years old, still loves to laugh at herself.

It's difficult to not have that one person who you can say anything to and know it's going to be all right.  Not taken the wrong way.  Not thrown in your face three months later.

It takes a lifetime to find someone like that, and it takes a lifetime to get over losing that person.

One day several years ago, I was having an incredibly busy day at work.  The phone was ringing off the hook, and my mom, who was a school nurse, and often had a lot of-how shall I put it-downtime, at her job (leg shaving, anyone) called me at work in the middle of all the hoopla to discus my doctor.  My PCP was (is) a great guy and I recommended him to everyone.  My mom was thinking of switching doctors (or maybe it was for my sister; I don't remember) and she wanted to discuss my doctor at length at that particular moment. 

The conversation, which went on for about five minutes, went a lot like this:

Mom:  Hi Dana!  Can we talk about your doctor?

Me:  Ma, I am so busy right now.  Can you make it quick?

Mom: Ok!  So, does he accept all different insurance companies?

Me: I don't know. Call hi-HOLD ON, my other line is ringing... ... ...ok, I'm back.

Mom: Do you think he's taking on more patients?  Is the wait to see him long?

Me: I don't know and no.  Ma, I am really busy!!

Mom: Now, where exactly is his office?  Oh hold on, a kid came into my office.  Yes, Michael, what is it?  A headache? (Heavy sigh) Just get your own ice pack and sit down; Mrs. Grieco is on a very important phone call.  Dana, is he good looking?  I seem to remember you saying that.

Me: !!!!!!

Mom: Hello?  Well, is he?

Me: Mother!  You have got to be kidding me!  I am swamped and you're asking about my doctor's looks?!  Please just call him yourself.

Mom: What is his phone number?

Me: I DON'T KNOW.

Mom: Fine.  I'll look it up. What's his last name again?

Me: BATARSEH.

Mom: Ok, and what's his first name?

Me: DOCTOR! 

CLICK.

My mother says she laughed for 10 minutes after that phone call.  She made me tell the story over and over for years. Each time I exaggerated a little more how busy I was and how little she had to do at work.

From then on, whenever I mentioned going to the doctor she would ask, "What's his first name again?  DOCTOR, right?!!"  She loved that story, and I loved telling it.

I haven't told it in three years.  No one's asked to hear it.  I guess it's not as funny as it was to those involved, either. 

I don't care.  It's our story.